Dealing with depression is one of the most challenging and i guess cruel situations you could ever imagine living with. I've wanted to do this post for a while now, because I think a lot of people have and get the wrong idea of depression and especially self harm. It's really important to grow awareness and spread information about those topics, because a lot of people suffer from it (lot more than you could ever imagine), and trust me, they need support.
When you're depressed, you simply have no motivation. You feel sad, tired, and there's nothing that you feel attracted to or excited for. I've heard from a lot of people "If you're depressed, than why are you having fun? or "why are you laughing and smiling?" Just because someone's depressed, it doesn't mean that they will lay in bed for the entire day, crying and sobbing about how hard is life. When you're depressed, you'll have moments of fun and laughter, but at some point, the sadness will knock on your door suddenly, with no real reason or explanation. It doesn't have a reason for you to be sad or feel miserable about yourself but you just do. This is what makes depression such a peculiar subject to talk about, because no one can really understand or explain it. It's really important not to hesitate on seeking help when you're depressed. It's very serious, and it can escalate really quickly, leading to issues like self harming.
A person who self harms, can do it for many reasons.
1. Physical pain is a lot "better" and fulfilling than psychological pain, and when you're depressed (you heart is in pain. The emotions you feel make you miserable) you just want to feel alive again, get away from the numbness and darkness, so you're willing to do anything it takes to actually start to "feel" again, even though it can destroy and hurt yourself.
2. A person who self harms, can also do it as a form of punishment (which is really common), or a form of telling yourself how unsatisfied you are about either your looks, or your life and so on. Low self esteem and insecurity are the main reasons that lead a person to self harm.
If you've considered self harm as a way out of this unknown mind blur, just know that there are many other ways out. Trust me, once you've started it, it's REALLY hard to stop. It will become an addiction in a matter of a time, and will complicate everything even more.
If you're dealing with any of those issues, look for help. The best way of getting yourself free from depression is having someone to talk to you and understanding your pain. A person who can see this whole situation from the outside, is more likely to help you and support you (that's why therapists are so important in the whole proccess). Don't hesitate on seeking help, don't be ashamed of needing help. And always remember that you ARE good enough. Don't you ever make yourself small or let someone make you small. If things are bad, have patience and give time a little time. You're not alone, and will never be. So next time you feel miserable about yourself and contemplate self harming, just think "Oh, Giovanna is counting on me, so I better get my shit together and start to believe in myself and in my potential. I'm capable of doing everything that I want, and I'm certainly good enough".
If you need someone to talk to, or just a friend, you can either leave a comment below or contact me by email or tumblr (all information on the "Where To Find Me" bar). You're not alone in this journey.
Have a blessed, joyful day!
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